Don't stop believin'

This last month has been a hard one. I can honestly say that each and every day has been hard to some extent (except for the day I got to see New Kids on the Block finally.)

Last night I was on my way to Zumba, and I just started weeping. Uncontrollably. And what song brought it on? Journey’s Don’t Stop Believin’.  The beginning of the song talks about a small town girl, and a city boy, on one-way trains to anywhere. And it made me think of my parents, who sorta met because they had one-way tickets away from home, and long stories short they ended up in Wichita where they met and fell in love and got married and had me. And it made me cry. And it made me think about how life has us on all these crazy journeys that take us in all sorts of directions. But in the messiness of it all, we find our way, figure it out, and move forward. And it made me cry some more, because we are all on a journey, and it’s all sorts of levels of hard. So is yours. It’s a lot to carry sometimes. And it just made me cry.

I called my sweet friend who has loved me for half of my life. She was my mom’s co-worker and became close with my mom. I met her when she started going to our church and years later we became good friends too. I called her because even though we don’t talk a lot, I know she would be there for me in a flash.

Fifteen minutes later I showed up at her house and cried in her kitchen as she sprinkled pepperonis and frozen cheese on her home-made pizzas.  Then she took me out to her porch where I cried some more. People I have not cried like this in a long long time. She just smiled and nodded and listened as I talked about the struggles of being a good wife, a good mom, being good to myself, hardships with family and friends, financial struggles… all my worries and fears. She even let me swear a few times.
At the end of it all, in very few words, she encouraged me and sent me off feeling loved and understood.

The next day she called and checked in with me. She apologized for not having the perfect solution for me. But that’s when I got to tell her that she actually gave me the perfect solutions. And this is what she told me that I needed to hear:

No matter what: love, honor, and respect your husband no matter what.

Right your wrongs with your kids every time. Always go back and say sorry when you mess up. Explain to them that mama isn't perfect, and that even when you’re mad, you still love them.

(And this is the one that we laughed about since she meant one thing and I understood another thing!)
She said to have fun. I took that as like, continuing to do the things that help me self-preserve, like my 24 hour retreats and funday Mondays, time with girlfriends and date night with my man. FUN as in, fun away from my kids. When I told her that she said, “oh, well I actually meant have fun with your kids. Laugh! You gotta laugh with your kids.” Oh. Well, baby steps right?

Another important thing she reminded me, is that whenever my kids are "making" me angry, I have a choice in whether or not I am going to yell. Yeah. We have a choice. Our kids aren’t making us mad. We are choosing to BE mad and react the way we do. Ouch. Gotta work on that.

I sure love my Jilly. 

So, that’s where I am at. I felt the heaviness over me lift tonight, and I yelled less, and am choosing to speak quietly and gently to my kids. But it’s bed time now, so here’s where the real challenge starts:)

Good night everyone. I thought blogging would be easier once summer hit. Not so much. I need to do another beautiful mama post. Who wants to be next?

Until next time... Don't stop... Believin'... one day at a time friends. 

"He doesn't think he can handle it..."

I was at the little wading pool with my kids yesterday. I wasn't meeting anyone there and when I don't have a friend with me, I always scan the pool deck for who I may be able to connect with or chat with. Sometimes you can tell that other moms are doing the same thing and it's easy to start up a conversation over someone's cute baby, the fact that our kids are playing well together, or when my son picks up her son's scuba gear and has that mouth piece all up in his little not-teeth-brushed mouth. Ew. But whatever. Thanks for sharing?

Who feels like the coolest dude in the world? This dude right here.

his poor ginormous  little ears did not fit properly under the tight band.

I always feel a little bit first-day-of-high-school-ish when there are groups of moms who have each other to talk with, and I am all by myself. They are usually in some deep conversation, and I stand there pretending that I can't overhear them. I'm not trying to listen, but they also aren't trying to whisper. I overheard bits and pieces of a conversation that caught my attention and it got me thinking. I started thinking about how I would have responded to this mama had she been my friend. I felt sad for her. And then it made me think. A lot.

This mom had an infant in a baby bjorn, and a (I'm guessing) 2 1/2 year old. She was venting about how things were hard at home and in her marriage. Then she talked  about a wedding out of town that she told her husband that she wanted to go to. Without the kids. She said that husband said absolutely not, that "he doesn't think he can handle it." And she was extremely upset. She went on to talk about how she handles the kids on her own everyday. 

generally speaking...

When it comes to parenting, as moms I think know we believe that we know best in a lot of situations, so it's just easier and more time efficient if we just do it on our own. Dad doesn't dress the kids the right way, he can't pack a diaper bag, he doesn't know how to calm a crying child in the night, he doesn't know what to feed the kids for dinner, he doesn't know that the baby's onsies go in the white basket and the socks go in the brown one, he only buys frozen pizzas, juice boxes, and junk when when he goes grocery shopping, he doesn't know how to entertain them with out putting on a movie. Etc. etc. ETC. So it's just easier to do it ourselves.

Why doesn't dad know how to do all of these things? Sometimes (NOT always) it's because we don't give him the chance to learn, try it out, mess up many times along the way, and finally figure it out. We don't trust that he is capable of doing it our way a good job. We correct him every time he is doing something "wrong." Honey, why did you put that shirt on the baby? It doesn't match his shorts... Don't use that sippy cup! Use the other one... Babe, use one wipey, you don't need seven, and don't leave the diaper so loose, make it a little tighter... So dad loses any confidence he had to begin with, and is left thinking well, if I do everything wrong, and she does everything right, then I'll just let her do it. 

And then we need a night out, or a weekend away, and we wonder why dad is hesitant. If they feel insufficient when we are around, why would they feel capable of "holding down the fort" when we are away?

I don't struggle very often in this area. From the beginning I have helped Matt to stay very involved in every aspect of parenting, he gives me plenty of time away, but there is still room for me to grow. Plenty of room. I started writing this post last night right after I sent Matt to the store with a list. The list had 10 items. He came home with seven of those items along with Reese's Peanut Buttercup cereal (don't even get me started on Reese's cereal) and granola bars (Kashi brand. Pumpkin flavor. Kid's won't even eat those!!), and a few other things that Were. Not. On. MY. List. I wanted to lose it. We are on a SUPER tight budget right now and we do not have money for processed sugar foods!!! And I chuckled to myself that I had JUST written about dads that go to the store for and come home with junk. It made me crabby for the rest of the night. And when mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy... unless there is Reese's cereal in the house. Then everyone is happy. Except for me.

So what am I trying to say? Give dad some space to figure it out. They need room to mess up and try again. They need time and experience to build up confidence that they can function as good daddies. They need to find their own parenting style. Sometimes your kid is going to wear a mismatched outfit, get a bad haircut, and sometimes your kid is going to eat Reese's Peanut butter cereal. But it's not worth the fight. It's more worth it to let dad feel good that the kid is dressed, groomed and fed. And then maybe he'll be ready to let you leave the baby home with him. Or at least he'll be ready to let you leave while he and baby go to his mother's house to hang for the day:) 

Mama at the pool could have been dealing with a mess of other issues concerning her husband and need to leave for a weekend, but I think that this is a general issue that I have heard from lot's of fellow moms, and I think this is a place to start when trying to find a solution. Just my thoughts.

Alright, well I hope you all have a great weekend. 
Know what I get to do this weekend?
I get to fulfill my life long dream of seeing DONNIE WAHLBERG IN PERSON. That's right everbody, I am 30 and going to my very first NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK concert. I have been waiting 23 years for this. Since second grade. 

(source)

They will probably look this big  from where we will be seated, but that's okay. I've been waiting a long time for this. 

Don't worry, I'll do a full write up of my experience next week. Until then, I'm out. 


Oh wait, one more thing, in case you missed it, I got to do a guest post on my friend Lindsay's blog! I did my first DIY tutorial. Go check it out at http://realhomelove.com/little-glass-lantern-diy-by-guest-blogger-sierra/

I got to do a little glass lantern tutorial. Aren't these cute?!

Okay now I am really out!
Peace

One day I'll be able to say, "I got through it."

Yeah, I swore I was back last week. Didn't follow through. Sorry. Wait, I'm not sorry for that :) Still trying not to say sorry for everything....

This summer has been a little rough. Honestly, lots of stuff going on. I need to not be under so much pressure. I have a lot on my shoulders lately and I need to remember to just breath and pray and trust that it's going to pass.

Matt's diabetes has been difficult for him (and all of the rest of us) to deal with lately. The spikes in his blood sugar have caused some irritability and moodiness. I am trying to be as understanding as possible. But it is hard. The doctor thinks he got pancreatitis a few weeks back and that this is what caused the major ups and downs. Before, he was able to manage his diabetes with some meds, diet and exercise. But not anymore. This week they put him on insulin shots. He is pretty down about it. Matt has type 2 diabetes. It's totally genetic. If you know my husband you know that he is just about as healthy as they come. He has always  put so much effort in to his healthy lifestyle, so this has hit him pretty hard. I think it just goes to show that we don't have total control over our bodies like we think we do sometimes. It sucks when we learn this the hard way.

So, I have been very busy lately, trying to be understanding, loving, and full of grace during this season. It is not easy to love your spouse through things like this when life is crazy and eventful on it's own.

At least it hasn't been for me.
And when I say love I don't mean "love ya"-at-the-end-of-the-phone-call kind of love. I mean total unconditional I-love-you-even-though-you-have-nothing-to-offer-me-right-now kind of love. I-love-you-even-though-you-are-crabby-at-me kind of love. I-love-you-even-though-you-are-too-tired-to-help-me-with-bed-time-routine kind of love. Selfless love. Through sickness and in health. Through it all I promised to love this guy.

(source)

And you know what doesn't help? Family Pictures.
Our awesome church puts out a photo directory every few years. The last photo we took was so goofy and lame. It was from 2008 and Nunie (our now deceased dog) was in it. Max was like 10 months old. I swore this one was going to be gorgeous. (Okay really I just wanted to make sure that I was gorgeous in the picture.) I blow dried and straightened my hair for the first time this summer and wore a nice white shirt with a new scarf I got (church has central air so I thought I would be safe and not too hot.... wwwrrooong.) Matt wore dark gray. Eli wore a white dress shirt. Gabriel wore an olivey green western-hipster type shirt, and Max? Pick and choose your battles, right? A tuxedo shirt. rolled up to his elbows. With a black bow tie. Yep.

The appointments were backed up and so we had to wait about 30+ minutes.
So my kids were squirrely. I was sweaty. And Matt? YEah.

my bangs actually looked fine here. but nope, they acted a fool
by the time the camera started snapping. 

So I'll just say that on the way home I was just about in tears. Why do I care so much? Is it because we get a free 8x10 with a swirly blue background? No.  Is it because my bangs did not lay right? Well sorta, no. Was it because Max looked like it was the end of the night on his wedding day? No.

I think it was because as moms, we want the dang picture to just turn out right so that we can look back and see that these were happy years. We don't want to look at the picture and be reminded of how much work it was to get screaming sweaty kids in to clean clothes, of how we hated our bodies and hated the effects of Minnesota summers on our perfectly coiffed hair, of how we were mad at our husband for not putting the right shoes on the toddler... etc. etc.

I talked to my mom last night and she said it was the same story for her back in the days of family photos when we were kids. She said that she still looks back at them and cringes at her hair or her "chubby cheeks" (oh stop mom! You were beautiful!") When I look at those pictures? I think, wow, mom looked so nice, grace was so goofy, Gil thought he was too cool, Sam thought so too, and David looks goofy because he was trying to look too-cool just like the older boys. And I was just straight up TOO cool for that. And my dad? He looked so sweet, and so proud to be sitting next to his lovely wife and crazy, exhausting children that he loved so much. I don't remember mom and dad hollering at us to get dressed and brush our teeth  because we were late, or the stress of the family piling in to the car. I do remember that my mom let me wear my favorite green corduroy shirt in 7th grade though :)

So I need to chill. Easier said than done, but I do. Everything is going to be alright. Preach it Bob Marley.

Someday I am going to look back at the cheesy family photos and with happiness and relief, I will be able to say,

"I got through it."

And I will be able to tell other mamas, "you'll get through it too."

(source)

I'm back, I'm back.

I took a little time off from the blog. I just needed some space. And I needed to focus on my family. And my house. And my marriage. Blogging wasn't really getting in the way of all of these things, but it was just one more thing on my mental "to-do" list.

Over the last couple of weeks, the kids and I have stayed busy playing with friends and going out and doing fun stuff. Matt and I have been on lots of dates. I've gotten to spend time having meaningful conversations and fun nights out with my good friends. I may have even danced to a Ciara song and/or sang (loudly) along with TLC to the scrubs song. And there may or may not be footage on my iPhone to prove this.

Me and little sister at a wedding last weekend.
 P.s. I finally got a pair of cowboy boots.

Luckily Hil knows the scrub song too, so she did back-up.
This was taken after we sang. We are way hotter when we are
pretending to be the girls in the TLC music video. Duh.

But I am back. I am stronger and happier. A lot has been accomplished in the last couple of weeks. A lot has been learned. A lot has been worked through. It was a time of refinement and revelation. 

And now I am ready to start sharing again. Next Monday I will continue on with the healthy family traits. I have a couple of beautiful mamas to share with you this week! One is an amazing photographer and has  interior design skillz that would blow you away. The other one is a full time stay-at-home-mama that works full time, from home! She is pretty amazing. Can't wait to share them with you.

Today I am starting another Whole30. If you are wondering what it is, you can check out the plan here. Basically it is an eating plan containing only meat, vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds, and healthy oils like coconut for cooking and olive for dressings. The last one I did was great. It was hard but it was successful. I lost over 15 pounds and felt wonderful. What is the hardest part for me? I can't use sweet creamer in my coffee. UUUGH. Now I have to use coconut milk. UUUUgggghhhHH. But I am going to keep it positive, and say this is going to be great. And I feel like if I announce it on here, you all are kind of keeping me accountable.

Bed times have been going late 'round here since summer started. But it's been fun doing fun family stuff until 9pm at night. Like last night, we headed out to Lake Johanna at 8pm. We met my mom and her husband and we ate watermelon and popsicles while the kids splashed in the water. It was so fun.

I think that is it for now, nothing too exciting. Lot's in store for future posts. Don't worry, this won't turn in to a food blog while I am trying to get creative on my whole30 challenge.

I am currently obsessed really having fun making videos with Instagram's new video option. So, I will give you a few sweet videos to see what we have been up to lately. The editing options turn life's most mundane tasks and happenings in to the sweetest memories that I will weep over someday.

Eli and his sink bath

Just another typical day at our house

Daddy getting his workout in

At the lake last night

Well, thanks for checking in with me. Hope you all have a great Monday. 

Peace.

Mama... you are beautiful: Heidi

This week has gotten off to a slow start, and look! Now it is half way over already. Our weekend was exhausting. And I still feel like I am recovering.

How do you recover from hard weekends? Me? I do so in a couple of ways.

I use the kids' nap/quiet time to rest myself. I don't do dishes. I don't sweep up the mess under the table from lunch (okay, and breakfast, and maybe even from dinner from the night before...) Maybe I'll actually take a nap. Maybe I'll work on my blog. Maybe I'll read. Maybe I'll shower. Whatever it is, I take that hour or two and enjoy some peace and quiet.

Another way I recover, is to spend time with friends. When Monday rolls around after a crazy/busy/stressful weekend, I love to connect with my girls. Some people need space from other humans after the craziness. Not me. I love company.

Luckily Heidi was scheduled to come and visit with her three boys.

And luckily she agreed to be a beautiful mama for me this week (she's a beautiful mama all the time.)

Heidi and I met before either of us had kids. She intrigued me. She intimidated me. She challenged me. She made me laugh. I first got to know her when we organized a young couple's camping trip. On the trip I learned that she wanted to be a missionary, and that she did not want kids. Soon I was pregnant. Soon after that she was pregnant. Soon after that I was pregnant again, and soon after that she was pregnant, again. This time with TWINS! Then soon after that I was pregnant again. Together, her and I have SIX BOYS combined. She's come a long way from "we aren't having kids." :)

Another significant life experience that we share, is that we both lost our dads. Within exactly one year. On September 20th, 2010 my dad died. September 23rd she was at my dad's funeral. On September 20th, 2011 her dad died. And on September 23rd I was at her dad's funeral. I am so grateful that we have had each other to go through this awful awful grief with. I have her to go to with emotions that not many can understand. 

Heidi has dealt with much grief and loss through out her lifetime, but through it God has molded her in to a strong and passionate individual who loves the Lord, loves missions, loves people, and who loves being a mom and wife. She is a good writer and has a great blog. Check it out here. It's called The Spicy Mustard Seed. 

Here is a glimpse in to Heidi's world.

Heidi's twins Beckett and Theodore, 2 years.
Don't you love her bangs? Me too... because I cut them!

What do you love about being a mama? 

I love being able to watch my kids grow up. I love watching them learn new things and experience the world around them. And the snuggles. And that each day comes with its own new joy and wonder. It's a good reminder.
Boy pile!
What gets you through the day when things get hard? 

I break the day up into segments, for example: X amount of hours until nap-time or X amount of hours until Tim gets home. I also try to be mindful that naughty behaviors can be molded into assets for the kingdom of God. The naughty boy who doesn't want to listen? Maybe he's meant to be a justice fighter.

If you could change one thing about yourself or your life what would it be? 

I wish I was more patient.
How do you self preserve? 

Time alone. I try to take a few minutes during nap-time to do whatever I want. I run. I cook. I like to sit in the quiet.
What stories do you read and what songs do you sing at bedtime? 

Boys pick out their own books. We sing made-up songs to the tunes of well-known songs. Tim doesn't do that. Only I do. He thinks it's weird. The boys love it though.

Such a good mama, lathering up her white babies in sunscreen,

Saying bye after another successful momdate playdate. 

Hope you all have a great rest of the week. Not sure if I will have enough energy to get another blog out in the next few days. We'll see. So, see ya on the flip side friends.

Peace out.

Healthy family Trait Monday: table time and conversation

The most dreadful thought of the day sometimes is "What's for dinner?" Matt HATES when I ask him "babe? What should we do for dinner?" I ask him that a lot. My daddy was a chef. A good chef. I inherited none of those genes. Any and all cooking that I do is self taught, or researched from pintrest. It does not come naturally. 

Honestly, dinner time in our house is usually more dreadful than pleasant. 

It starts off well. Simple recipe from pintrest. Mom's making a good healthy dinner.
Cue the "DANG I'm a good mama!!" vibe.

It usually turns out well. I place it all pretty on the plate to
accentuate my work of art. Dad would be proud of my presentation.

Kids ask for gobs of ranch. Hey, whatever makes them eat it, right?

Then the first goofy sip is taken, and I know it's all
gonna hit the fan soon.

This is not going to be good.

Cue the gurgling of milk.
Cue mom and dad starting to get irritated.

Cue the toddler who can climb out of his highchair
and who now will spend the next ten minutes whining at mom's side until
she gives in and allows him to just eat fish crackers and apple sauce.

 Wait, what's this week's trait? Oh great...

5. The healthy family values table time and conversation.

Okay, so this is an area that we need work. A. Lot. Of work. I think it's because we have small children. I hope it gets easier as they get older.

In one of the books that I started reading a while back called Secrets to Happy Families by Bruce Feiler, he talked about how there is really only 10 minutes during dinner time that is productive communication. All the other words spoken at dinner time are about, well, dinner. "Pass the milk, please." or "May I please have more brussel spouts, mother?" As long as your family gets even that 10 minutes of meaningful talk time in each day, your family will be, in general, more happy with each other. 

Well, in this family, I think we get 2.7 minutes of meaningful talk time during meals. Maybe. The other 6-10 minutes that we are able to keep all three kids seated is filled with "eat that! Don't spill! Vegetables are GOOD for you! They help you get HUGE muscles! No you can't have apple sauce. Do you need more ranch? No you can't have cookies for dinner. Sit on your BOTTOM. Grab a towel and wipe it up! Use your napkin... NOT YOUR SHIRT!!!(or NOT MY SHIRT!) Sit down! You may not leave the table until we are all finished. Don't pick your nose. Now go wash your hands... and then come back to the table and eat your brussel sprouts."

Check out this quote from the book:

A recent wave of research shows that children who eat dinner with their families are less likely to drink, smoke, do drugs, get pregnant, commit suicide, and develop eating disorders. Additional research found that children who enjoy family meals have larger vocabularies, better manners, healthier diets, and higher self-esteem. The most comprehensive survey done on this topic, a University of Michigan report that examined how American children spent their time between 1981 and 1997, discovered that the amount of time children spent eating meals at home was the single biggest predictor of better academic achievement and fewer behavioral problems. Mealtime was more influential than time spent in school, studying, attending religious services, or playing sports.

But no pressure...

Dinner time is not my favorite part of the day. Meal times in general are not. When we were on vacation, that was one of the things I loved most: meal times were stress-free, peaceful, full of meaningful conversation and laughter, and kidless quiet. 

I'm just being real. 

Okay, so, that is my challenge this week: I will try to value table time and conversation. It's obviously kind of a big deal right? 

Are you up for the challenge? ]

Me either, but I'll try if you do. Hey, what better night to start than tonight?! Funday Monday. I leave at 5pm for Zumba. So I will gladly pass the challenge on to Matthew tonight;)

Peace out. 

Mama... you are beautiful: Emily

Last night Eli was up in the night, sick, again. I was exhausted , and it was one of those mornings when I have no idea how I am going to survive the day. I wasn't feeling good either, but, mom's don't get sick days. So on with our day we went. Plans for today changed five times. I had two very disappointed boys who thought they were going to get to visit with their friends. But we had to cancel. So we went to the park with Aly and her little boy, and the boys played with their new shovels and buckets while I held Eli and commiserated with my equally tired friend. 

Then we were off to celebrate my LP's birthday. 

(LP= lifepartner for those that don't know me well. Emily and I have been best friends forever and in 10th grade we started an inside joke about being lifepartners. It stuck and 15 years later, we continue to refer to each other as LP. When my mom talks about Em she refers to her as "your lifepartner". When her mother writes cards to me, she writes "Dear lifepartner daughter."When I got married her dad told us "ya know, now that Sierra is getting married, you guys can't be lifepartners anymore." My dad would always roll his eyes when I referred to her as LP. She's my bestest bestest friend. "Best friend" just didn't quite explain us. It's nothing weird folks, it's just our thing)

We made a date to meet at Java Train Cafe for ice cream and she let me use her as my next beautiful mama since this October she is having her first baby! And luckily for me IT'S A GIRL!! When she told me I cried happy happy tears. If I didn't have my own daughter, the next best thing is having your LP have one for you. I can't wait for her baby to get here. 

She's six months along already!

So, as I stated before, Emily is one of my closest friends. We go way back. We met in homeroom at Como Park High School. We became friends in 10th grade. Her mom was like a second mom to me. I was at her house all the time. We stayed close all through high school. We listened to 112 and Jagged Edge. We shared Gap perfume and ate lots of Taco Bell. She played sports, I worked at a beauty salon. We got in to a little trouble, but for the most part we were good girls. 

As adults we laugh at how completely opposite we are. She's organized. I'm not.  She plans ahead for everything. I fly by the seat of my pants. Her purse is neat and tidy inside. Mine, not so much. Her gas tank never falls below 1/2 empty. Mine is always skimming the top of the red line. She likes the citrus skittles. I like the berry ones. 

Here she is explaining that someone tried to comfort her by reminding her
 "at least you aren't pregnant for two years like elephants are!"
 To which she replied "yeah well elephants don't have to wear dress pants to work."

Max and Em showing off their bellies

Can her yellow flats be any cuter?

Proud mama-to-be

Okay, So here it is. Thoughts from my Lp.

Will you call your daughter Princess?
You already know I can't call my daughter princess! I think I was treated as the little boy in my family, so it's ingrained in me to give funny nicknames instead of feminine ones. My husband probably will, but that's not really up my alley. i can't imagine myself doing that at all.

Will you ever buy your daughter sparkly Dora the Explorer shoes? 
No. I don't think I will ever buy my daughter anything pink, or sparkly or tiaras or any of that stuff. I'm just not very girly, so that type of thing drives me nuts.
(This is why her daughter will have me, an auntie LP, to braid her hair and buy her sparkly tiaras and pink dresses. In the same way that Emily bought Max his first pair of baseball pants and baseball socks)

What is your biggest fear about being a mom for the first time?
I think it's two fold. Part of it is the logistics of everything. How do you know when to start your kids in sports? How do you get them enrolled in school? Just the day to day stuff that is expected of you as a parent.The other part? The baby's whole world is going to be ME. I am worried about being stretched too thin. I have a husband, a step-son, and a large extended family that depends on me. I never want to have the mentality that I just want my baby to be older or to be independent just so that I feel like I can keep up with it all.

How has your husband been showing you support through your pregnancy?
He let's me figure out that I am acting crazy, without actually telling me that I am acting crazy. There was an instance that the dog pooped in the basement and I was weeping and decided we needed to get rid of her, that THAT was finally IT. He said "Emily, you need to  calm down a little." I told him NOPE we're done. With out him telling me that I was straight up crazy, he lets me figure out by myself that my behavior is not rational. And that is helpful to me. He entertains my crazy ideas, but then let me figure out on my own that they are not feasible.

Do you feel cute as a preggo?
I feel cute... when clothed. I don't feel attractive. When I see myself naked I'm like HOLY HELL what's happening to my body?! But it really does balance out my backside pretty well. I can't really complain, fortunately I haven't gained any weight at this point, and I am six months pregnant. So, baby girl is living off my plentiful reserves I have stored up. I think I am wearing makeup more, to help myself feel better. But, I wouldn't say I feel attractive.

So there ya have it, some perspective from a new mama-to-be.
I'm off to bed. Tomorrow I get to do the hair and makeup for a Bhutanese bride and her wedding party!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Peace.