Tuesday, May 20, 2014


Lately I am learning a lot about slavery: Human Trafficking. Women, children, and even men. Forced. With out a choice.

And I feel like my eyes are being opened up to so much. Some very profound things, some very simple things.

One thing I have been pondering is what I allow myself to be a slave to. All the people I am learning about who are modern day slaves, have no choice. Prostitution. Sweat shops. Desperation. Poverty. Devastation. War.

Me? My life is pretty easy when we're looking at the big picture.

And I am asking God what I need freedom from.

And then I feel really stupid. 'Cause it's things like facebook. And sugar. And my bad attitude. A poor body image. Fear of what people think. And my desire for a neat and tidy cute house.

I took facebook off my phone a couple months ago. Before, whenever I had a spare moment I was on the good ol' fb. Checking out what you are making for dinner tonight, how cute your baby was when she woke up this morning, or who was causing drama on the neighborhood facebook page again. Not all of it is pointless. Because I genuinely care when your little boy has had a fever for three days, how your honeymoon was, that you posted a new blog entry or that you're sick of your job... but it's getting in the way. And I could be managing my time better. And ugh. I hate admitting that.

I put Facebook back on my phone not too long ago. I manage so much on there.... Like my Trades of Hope page and our Urban Collective Trunk Show page. It's a big source of communication for me and my friends. 

Balance. I need to balance it out. I need to be intentional about what I am doing on facebook and not do the mindless scrolling thing.  

I'm trying to clear out the unnecessary stuff that gets in the way. (I feel like I am ALWAYS  in this process.)
I want to take away the false comforts that somehow allow me to escape for a moment. It's okay to escape sometimes. But I'm trying to do that by listening to good music or by chatting with my mama or one of my girls.

I think it'll be easier now that we aren't stuck in the house for days at a time.

So, there it is. Our daily battles and slavery to the stupid things overwhelm us at times, but luckily we can claim power and victory over them if we really try.

Daily I am thankful for the freedom we experience. And daily I am reminded of those who suffer, stuck in bondage to circumstances they cannot control.

On Mother's Day I went to a march for the girls missing from Nigeria. I'll share some of the photos that were posted below.


(photo by Renee Horsman)

Heavy stuff on this mamas heart lately. But I believe sometimes we are called to share in the burden of what weighs on the hearts of those around us and all over the world. This slavery issue is what my heart aches for so I continue to press in and figure out what I can do about it. 

Pray for the missing girls. Pray that slavery ends. It's an overwhelming situation but there are things we can do. 

Monday, May 19, 2014

be still.

This morning I woke up and decided to push aside my bad attitude over it being Monday.
(It was hard, I had to push really really hard)

I came downstairs and my husband had made coffee. So that helped.

Then I went and sat on the porch and I did something that I do not do often enough. I opened up my phone and started my morning by reading today's devotion from my favorite book Jesus Calling. Here is an excerpt:

I want you to know how safe and secure you are in My Presence. 
that is a fact, totally independent of your feelings...
Although My Presence is a guaranteed promise, that does not necessarily change your feelings. When you forget I am with you,you may experience loneliness or fear. It is through awareness of My Presence that Peace displaces negative feelings. Practice the discipline of walking consciously with Me through each day.

No more than 5 seconds later my 1st grader began to cop an attitude about having to get out the door to the bus stop. Instead of beginning my usual morning speech about how "we all have responsibilities and even though we don't feel like it sometimes, we still have to go to work/school/etc..." I told him I'd walk him out to the bus stop.

As we walked hand-in-hand I told him that I loved him. That I am proud of him. That God is always with him, even when he is having a hard time at school or when he feels alone or anxious.

The sun was shining, the air was crisp and it was a perfectly sweet moment.

As soon as we got to the bus stop he ran over to his friends. Apparently it's not cool to stand at the bus stop holding your mother's hand. When the bus came he sat in the seat the faced me and secretly blew kisses to me until they had passed me by. I love that we got to have a sweet and peaceful beginning to our day.

On my way back home I was met by Gabriel and Eli coming out of the house. They had dressed themselves and were without shoes. We took a little walk down the block and back.

Again, another perfectly sweet moment.

I know I say it ALL.THE.TIME. This season is oh-so-hard. The whining, the potty accidents, the constant need for snacks, the messes, the fighting, the difficult bedtimes, the long days. I make it harder on myself by trying to do it on my own. My Father God is there beside me the whole time but instead I choose to feel alone in it and to try to take it on by myself.

I had a new friend over today and she saw my little poster (I saw it on pintrest and recreated, it's not my own design!) She asked me what it meant to me and I had to think for a minute.

I try to fight through so many of the hard moments on my own, which is dumb. I need to stop. I need to breathe and chill out. I need to seek out how God wants me to deal with it. I need to acknowledge that He is there, ready to fight the battle for me. Whether the battle is a whiny kid, an unexpected expense, a fight with my husband or someone close disappointing me: I need to be still and allow Him to take it on.

Be still. Be still. Be still. I think this is what God is trying to show me in this season.

A few months ago it would've been my dad's birthday. It was a hard week, I missed him so much. There was a necklace at Groundswell that had been on display for a long time. I knew I needed it.

I wear it almost everyday. Just as a reminder.

Alright, well, here's to practicing the discipline of walking consciously with Him through each day.
Be encouraged.