I'm transparent... most of the time...
You know that feeling when you look at your life and realize that you and your husband are SUPER awesome room mates? No? Then skip out on reading the rest 'cause yeah me neither.....
I hate that. I hate when it comes to that. And I hate how much intentional love, work and time it takes to dig ourselves out of that rut each time.
I have been so good at keeping the house picked up. Having dinners planned (for the most part). Making appointments. Organizing the porch. Doing dishes. Keeping kids happy and entertained all day-every day and helping Max with homework. I even make our bed, like, twice a week.
Matt has been so good at keeping up with laundry and putting dishes away. He releases me on my Funday Mondays and Zumba nights . He gets the recycling and garbage can out every Wednesday night. Every morning he makes me coffee and takes the trash out. And on top of working 40 hours a week, he has been picking up extra hours helping friends out with house projects.
We are busy, but we are doing a dang good job keeping our home and family functioning.
But our marriage? That gets put on the back burner too often. It's so easy to put it aside and stay focused on the little things: all the whining and tantrums and spilled milk and piles of laundry and dinner plans and missing socks and home work and bonked heads and stressful bed time routines and dirty dishes and drawings on the walls.
This weekend flew by and I knew that I needed to talk to Matt about it, and I chose his favorite time to bring up hard stuff: at 11pm after the lights went out. I vented for five minutes all that was on my heart and mind, all that was concerning me and making me sad.
In marriage there are some things that will never change. And we just need to get over it. Me bringing up deep stuff when my man is tired and it is 11pm on a Sunday night? It is just one of those things.
He dealt with me gracefully and with lots of love.
And I feel like we are back on track today.
Earlier I said I hate how much work it takes to dig out of the sucky-marriage-rut. I think that's why we put it off, because it's just too much work, and ain't nobody got time fo' that.
But sometimes it doesn't take much work at all. Sometimes, just sometimes, all it takes is two hopeful and patient people who are willing to forgive and let it all go and start out fresh.
Because baby sometimes, love is war right?
We recently joined a little house church and were invited to join a marriage study that will take place once a month for the next 6 months or so on on Monday nights. My sweet friend even offered to do childcare for us. It starts tonight. Perfect timing.
Don't stay in the rut. Fight like hell to get out of it, or else over time it just slowly gets deeper and deeper and deeper. Keep climbing out, every single time. You will keep falling in every once in a while, but the process of getting out makes you stronger for the next time.
Fall is here. My fingers are chilly as I type.I love this weather. I hope it stays for a while.
Hope you all had a lovely weekend. We played with friends, had a date night with friends at The Chatterbox Pub, had a rainy and chilly trip to an apple orchard, watched The Croods with our boys and then last night Matt and I finally got to watch The Great Gatsby. I love just about any Baz Luhrmann film and I fancied the Jay-Z inspired soundtrack so I really like it.
Well that's about all. Until next time....
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