Sunday, August 11, 2013

Don't mess with mama T-Rex

Today I was at the park with a friend of mine and my three boys. There was a woman and a little boy there too. The little boy looked Max's age, and I was happy for Max at the possibility of him making a new friend to play with during our time there. 

The little boy struck up a conversation with Max, and I could hear him asking Max about his brothers. They chatted about super high slides, video games and dinosaurs. Sweet sweet innocent boy talk. Then the boy told Max that he had some dinosaurs and they went over to where they were sitting on the ledge that bordered the sand. Eli and Gabe followed and the boys were sitting together playing gently and peacefully with the toys. I was 10 feet from them. I was watching. 

I hear the lady shout across the park from the bench she was sitting at,  "Don't let him break the mouth." I passed it off as nothing, since I saw my boys hands, and the way that they were playing, and there was no breaking-of-mouths happening. She repeated her self again, telling the boy not to let my son "break the mouth!" I felt mama bear T REX rise in me. I wanted to shout at her that my kids were not breaking any dino mouths, and that I am right here. I am watching. It's okay. Then in a very passive aggressive manner, grandmother shouted to her grandson, "It looks like you are being ransacked." And then she went on to shout over that "it looks like they are in your theater. Don't let them in to your theater, remember how I talked to you about that? That no one needs to be in your theater."

Theater? I am guessing she gave him a little lesson on personal space, or making sure that people don't come into his personal space or something? 

My eyes got huge as I cut my conversation off with my friend and asked if she just heard what this lady told her grandson. Ransacked??! And theater?? My boys were playing with the toys that this sweet boy had handed over to them. Ransacked?! Really?! I went over to my boys and told them that it was seeming like it wasn't okay for them to be playing with the little boy's things, and that maybe they should give the malicious ransacking of the dinosaurs game a rest and just go play on the playground equipment. My blood started to boil, but I played it cool. 

Then Max brought out the badminton rackets and birdy we had brought along with us and asked boy if he wanted to play. They began to toss the birdie back and forth, and Max was giving boy some encouragement and direction on how to play the game. Something like, "oh! You almost got it! Next time just hit it over to me so I can hit it back" was how I heard the conversation go, because again, I was right there. Then grandma shouts over, again, from the bench, "Don't be bullied. Don't let him bully you." 

I wanted to march over to her and give her a piece of my mind. I am not that kind of mom, but something in me wanted to defend my BOYS. I wanted to scream at her "YOU KNOW WHAT LADY?! MAXIMO CAN BE A TOTAL PUNK AND BIG BULLY TO HIS LITTLE BROTHERS AT TIMES, BUT RIGHT NOW?!?!?!? HE IS BEING A GENUINE FRIEND TO YOUR BOY! MY KIDS ARENT' TRYING TO BREAK YOUR KID'S STUFF, AND MAX IS NOT PUSHING AROUND YOUR SON, SO IF YA GOT SOMETHING TO SAY, SAY TO MY FACE."

But I didn't say it. I didn't know what to do. What should I have done? Nothing? Well nothing is what I did. I just stared at her as she told her boy to get his things and "let's just go." Little boy was disappointed. Told my little boys, "sorry, granny says it's time to go. Thanks for playing!" and skipped off after his grandma who had already started walking away.

On our walk back to her house, my friend and I discussed how that lady must have had some sort of baggage or bad experience that made her believe that her son was a target for bullying and being taken advantage of. 

Then we discussed how as parents, most if not all of us have some sort of baggage that our kids will eventually suffer from. Maybe not suffer from, but are affected by. I think it can be good and bad.

Later I encouraged Max by telling him that he sure played well with that boy at the park. I don't think he understood grandma's insinuations, but just in case, I wanted to intervene and speak truth in to his little heart.

I'm still upset. As I write this my heart aches. My kids are not perfect little angels. They are far from it. If they are being little monsters I address it and correct it. But when they are being sweet and innocent and someone accuses them of being overbearing and bullying? That makes me crazy.

How would you have dealt with it? 
What past experiences have maybe caused you to react to situations irrationally at times?

Just had to process and write it out.... so thanks for listening. 

Some lady musta pissed off this mama T-Rex,
I know how you feel mama. I know how you feel.

My little angels. All in a time out. Arms crossed. Frowns. Story of my life. 
Why don't you tell everyone how you really feel mister Eli?

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