My boy is THREE today!

At the end of a week full of national tragedy and despair, we have much to be grateful for and a wonderful reason to celebrate. 
Our little boy is three today. 

He was born around 10am on April 19th, 2010. His birth was dreamy. It really was. Nothing like my first birth with Max. It was a c-section, but the procedure went smoothly and recovery was way better. I wanted him to be named Gabriel James, but Matt wanted him to be Gabriel Matthew. (Daddy won that battle.) We felt so happy, and Max was such a proud big brother. Our first months with him were quiet and sweet. Matt was home since he had been laid off, so I got plenty of rest and lots of one-on-one time with our newborn. Looking back, that was God's perfect timing, because life was about to get shaken.

The day after Gabriel turned five months old, my dad died suddenly. And then two months later I was pregnant (SURPRISE!!!!) again. So I feel like his babyhood flew by, and honestly, I don't remember a whole lot of his first year. I was weighed down with a debilitating grief, and the worries of having another baby so soon after. But he was loved. I know that. And he walked at nine months. I know that. And I also know that he was surrounded by family that made sure he was nurtured and loved, even when his mama didn't have much to give. God's grace covered that time period, and He has restored what the locusts have eaten, that's for sure. Our days that have followed that season have been rich with happy memories, abundant blessings, provision and restoration. Gabriel's a trooper. He fits in with this family.

My three-year-old

He loves tools, how things are built and the mechanics of how things work. He is fascinated by pipes and always asks what is in them, where they are going, if they are hot, etc. He loves cooking and dressing his dinner plate up with as much color and texture as possible. He doesn't ever eat it all, but we wouldn't be surprised if he was the one taking after his late boppa and his uncles Gil and David. All chefs. He loves to watch Pingu, Rescue Bots and Wreck It Ralph. If I let him paint more often or play with playdough more than once a month, those would probably be his favorite past times as well.  He is shy about dancing, but loves it.

He loves clothes. And changing his outfit every ten minutes. He is particular about what he wears, and insists that tags are cut out of everything. His favorite shoes are his cowboy boots. And he loves wearing "army pants" (which are either camo, or just khaki colored pants with lots of pockets.) His room is regularly littered with every item of clothing that he owns. He loves accessories... hats, sun glasses, gloves, backpacks, purses, wallets.

He is our responsible, wise, mature, sweet, sensitive, nurturing, strong-willed, dramatic boy. He feels things deeply, and his heart is tender. A lot of the time when he says sorry, he means it. He will even sometimes bring it up an hour later, saying again that he is really sorry. But, he is three, so a lot of the time he says in the sassiest voice possible (with arms aggressively crossed) that he is "THOOOOOO-RRY!" (with his thlight lithp) and turns right around and sticks his drooly tongue out. Stinker. He loves Jesus and loves to pray. His swear words consist of  "WOW MOM!" and "I don't LIKE you."

His best friends are Max, Eli, Marcus, Jakey, Sage and yesterday he added our neighbor Amy M. to the list.

Life is good with our Gabriel. Can't imagine my world 

with out him.

aw, isn't that just special?

turning 1!

Gabe was a big brother at 16 months.

this day I felt he needed a unibrow.

Right after we moved in to our house, Gabe turned 2.

I'll love you forever 

I'll like you for always 

as long as I'm living 

my baby you'll be.

Happy Birthday Gabey-yooooo.

Spring is here... somewhere, about to be burried under five feet of snow...

It's supposed to be spring (but instead we are experiencing a second winter...), and spring represents newness, a fresh start. Renewal. 

(Is renewal and newness the same? Where is my thesaurus? 

I dunno... I am just trying to tie in all of my two topics I want to share.... 

ugh never miiiiind.)

I never upload the pictures from my camera in a timely manor. In this day and age my Ipod touch gets all my shots, the Canon rarely gets any love. I read this article recently. Take a moment to read it. It's pretty much about how all the instagrams that we post are full of partial truths and glamorized moments. It's so true. But then why would I post a picture of the rowdy messy dinners, stacked dirty dishes or the shots of me with a double chin and dirty hair? I post only the awesome shots because that is what I want to remember. I want to remember the beautiful meal, and not necessarily the counters that I had to clean off after. I want to remember the sun peaking through the windows on the longest awful winter days, not the screaming kids dying of boredom and pissed that they can't empty out the dang tupperware cupboard again.

Which brings me to our Easter pictures. 

 I wanted the sweet family picture where we all SORT OF match. Where we are mostly smiling, where 

I don't have a double chin I have perfect hair and where Gabriel isn't picking his nose. Where Matt's eyes are open, and where Eli is looking in to the camera. (Max is never an issue. He is the photogenic one in the group.)

With that said, I now present to you,

The Hegstrom Family 

Easter Album

cute and happy all the time, Eli

Cute, moody all the time Gabriel

one sweet brotherly moment

no one ever takes mom's pic, so mom has to take her own pictures.

Gabe picked out his tie. I take no credit.

take one. nope.

take two. kinda. 

take three. mmm, sorta.

take four. close.

yeah, no.

And this these were the After shots... look at Gabriel's pants.

always happy and cheerful.

only shot with all the boys.

only shot of just max.

pirate face, it's classic.

(we were in the middle of painting , don't judge our two-toned cupboards)

And so there ya go. The good, the bad, the ugly. No glamorized edited photos here.

All jokes aside, Easter was great, it was a time to reflect on the resurrection of Jesus. A time to celebrate that our God is  alive. It was a beautiful day, bitter sweet. I missed my dad. Just a few days earlier would have been his 60th birthday. We spent the day with Matt's family. Got to reconnect with his dad Warren's side of the fam. I was in the middle of my whole30 reset, so I did not get to enjoy the cheesy potatoes, green bean casserole or delicious bars. 

But HEY! I completed my whole30 challenge yesterday. Today I got to re-introduce dairy. I ate two cheese sticks. It was great. In a few days I'll add back in gluten, legumes, and grains. I still plan to eat mostly paleo, with some dairy and a little sugar:) I want to do a whole blog post about my experience, but in a nut shell: over thirty days of eating only meat, veggies, fruit, seeds and nuts, and doing one hour Zumba classes at least three times a week, I lost over 15 lbs, I feel great, and I am ready to stay on track. Here are some before and after pics. Cant wait to post even more "afters" in the future.

before

after

Photo credit goes to my five year old, Maximo Joe.

Stay tuned for new posts about my whole30, house projects that are being completed, 

and whatever else pops in to my thoughts. 

Happy Spring everyone. 

world's okayest mom here.

Wow, i just posted like 10 minutes ago, but since then, a situation occured that I felt needed to be shared.

When Max is having a hard day and being a total punk, I tell him in a loving and sweet voice that even when he is having a hard day, being mean and saying really hurtful things, that I still love him. Just now Gabe gave him a harsh kick in the side with a rubber boot on. It swiped Max's bare skin and he wailed. Rightfully so, right? A swift rubber boot against bare skin is painful! Gabriel said "SORRY." in the snottiest tone possible and walked away with his arms folded across his chest. I felt like such a good mom when Max walked up to me, tears still on his face, and said,

"Mom? even though Gabe hurt me and was mean, I'm still gonna love him. Just like you teach me that even when I am mean, you still love me."

Well, I felt quite accomplished. What I am teaching him is actually sinking in. Then he says, with the sweetest and most innocent smile,

"... and I still love you. Even when you are the meanest mom and have a bad attitude."

well, there ya go. 

Thanks son. 

For keeping me humble. And keepin' it real.

(source)

Yours truely, 

Winner of the Okayest Mom of the Day Award. Me.

Come on Spring!

Can it just be spring yet? We are just about to lose it over here. Good thing my kids are cute. 

Let me just brag for a minute.

Eli is 18 months now. Says over 20 words, 
and is our little sunshine.
He is loud and silly, 
and loves to dance. 
He climbs on everything and even dumps toys out of bins 
so that he can use them as stepping stools.
Stinker.

Gabe is ALL drama these days. 
He has more tantrums than I can even count. 
It drives me CrAzy, but he is sorta sweet.
Sometimes. Especially when he is sleeping.
I like him though. He is still cuddly and cute.
He talks non-stop.

Maximo Joe is 5 1/2 and is growing up so fast. 
He lost a tooth a couple of weeks ago. 
He is learning to read and loves school.
The conversations we have about life and death, 
God and heaven are so awesome. 
He's a deep thinker.

 This week is spring break, so I'm just trying to keep these kiddos busy and entertained. All while trying to keep my sanity as I enter in to the second half of my whole30 challenge. 

I have so many things to look forward to this spring. We are going to do some painting in our house (finally!) and we have some house projects in store. Luckily I have friends with good taste that have been giving me some input. Here are some styles I adore...  

(source)   

I love these colors. Earthy natural colors, but bright and cheery and happy. Love the blues, greens and yellows with hints of grey.

(source)

 This was a design that my dad loved, and I want to recreate it and have it in my kitchen somewhere. 

(source)

I love this color for my kitchen.

(source)

My lovely friend Sarah over at her blog, An Inviting Home, posted these pictures of her beautiful hallway. I love it. So she is going to lend me the stencil. Just have to figure out where to do it.

(source)

I want a collage of pictures like this. Love the bright color pops in each frame.

What kinds of things are you looking forward to this spring? 

OH. I just remembered one more thing that I am looking forward to this May....

MATT AND I ARE CELEBRATING 

OUR 9TH ANNIVERSARY IN CALIFORNIA. 

WITH NO KIDS. Hallelujah.

peace out.

sierra

Where I'm at these days

I have started a hand full of blog posts in the last month, but haven't finished them. I either lose interest or feel like it's all been heard before. I don't know, I have been in sort of a rut for the last 2 1/2 years month especially, and I have just needed a lot of time to process. This mother of three boys stuff was really dragging me down. It's been really hard to be joyful in the last couple of years, even though so many great things have happened!! We've been through a lot, especially since Dad died 2 1/2 years ago. He would've been 60 at the end this month.

So, with all that to say, I am doing a 30 day makeover on myself. I started with the intention of just doing the Whole30 plan, but have decided to make it in to much more. The Whole30 plan is basically the Paleo diet. There is a book called It Starts with Food by Dallas and Melissa Hartwig that leads and guides you through. It's like pushing the "reset" button on your body. I am eating meat, vegetables, some fruit, and nuts/seeds. After 30 days, you re-evaluate how the other foods affect your body, and you make wise food choices from there. So this won't be my diet forever, just until I can see how things like sugar, gluten and dairy are affecting me. 

(source)

I have also committed to 3-4 days of Zumba at this great studio in Roseville, not far from my house. Can I just say that I LOVE ZUMBA. Seriously. The days I know I am going to get to go, I am happy all day in anticipation. If you have been bored working out, or want to try something new. Get with the Zumba. I can say that it has changed my life and I am so glad that my LP introduced me. I love it because the women that are in my classes are of all shapes and sizes, age, ethnicity, etc. I don't feel judged or like I am being watched. And I'm learning to dance! The moves are really hard sometimes, especially as I am getting to know the steps. Sometimes when I feel stupid or like I can't do it, I just pretend I am on P. Diddy's Making the Band. Danity Kane, here I come.... (am I the only one who secretly sorta really loved this song/video so many years ago? yeah I am?... k just kidding then...)

(source)

I feel like I am taking time to renew my mind/body/spirit, and my joy is being restored in the process. God's totally in this with me. Otherwise I would not be able to have the energy to get through an hour long zumba class at the end of a tiresome day with toddlers. I am asking God to renew my mind towards food and eating. It's work, but it's working. I have suffered from body issues and low self esteem for a long time. I want freedom from that. 

I want to feel happy and grateful. Not grouchy and depressed. I want to have a strong and healthy body, not a body that I am embarrassed by with no energy. I want my relationship with God to be strong and steady, I want to be in His will instead of making decisions on my own and doubting Him when things don't work out. 

SO. Here I go. I am a week in, and I feel pretty great so far. My husband has been so encouraging. My friends have been too. I love that I have my Zumba buddies (LP, Mel and Lia). I appreciate and cherish my Whole30 mate Aly. Here's to a better Sierra! 

Now excuse me as I go kill my husband for shooting me in the ear with a Nerf gun just now. He should know better than to annoy his wife who hasn't had coffee or ice cream in a week.... deep breath... happy and grateful... not grouchy......

CHEERS Y'ALL. I'll try to get back to blogging more. Thanks for reading!

Mama said there'd be days like this...

My week consists of not only watching my own children, but other peoples' children too. Being a stay-at-home-mom is super hard most of the time. I laugh with my friends who have office jobs, about how I would do anything to crunch numbers or write e-mails all day.... aaaahhhh.... it sounds quiet, relaxing, quiet, boring, and quiet. My days are a whirlwind of spilled milk, scattered goldfish crackers, my two-year-old boy that changes his clothing ten time before noon and already says "WOW mom", my one-year-old who climbs on top of the dining room table and eats dirt out of my despised evergreen, a three-year-old sweet and sassy little diva that is with us Monday through Friday during the day, diapers, peanut butter and honey sandwiches, wooden blocks, baby dolls, fights, whining, owies, etc. etc. 

My mom was a stay-at-home-mom too. I don't remember the messy house and the stress of it all. I was a kid. I was home with my mom. What in the world could be better then that? I remember a couple of the projects she did with us. I remember amazing Christmas mornings. I remember being in the garden with her. I remember walks to the park and "bus adventures" where she'd take us on the city bus to go get lunch at McDonalds. I remember trips to the Children's Museum and to the beach. I don't remember her yelling, I don't remember her losing her patience. I don't remember her swearing (okay I remember a couple of times since she NEVER swore!) and most of all I don't remember us being poor. 

But my mom swears she swore sometimes, that she yelled, that she was impatient, depressed at times, and pretty miserable on some days. She tells us about how there was never enough money at Christmas and that she had to do Toys for Tots and get creative with what she could sew or create. I had no idea.

Kids are resilient. And for this I am so grateful. SO SO SO grateful. I can be a mean mom sometimes. I yell too much. I lose my patience way too easily, and I am a complete failure as a parent in many situations. I'm tired. I shout empty threats. I'm out of ideas to entertain them sometimes, and if I have to read that same book one more time I may just puke. There are days when, yes, Netflix is my saving grace. There are days when dishes don't get done and kids go to bed in whatever they wore for the day. Teeth not brushed. Bodies not bathed. 

But there are days when I am a super awesome mom. There are days when I do awesome art projects, and only let the kids watch one show. Days I take them to the museum, or to Choo Choo Bob's or to momdates playdates. Days I sing songs and read lots of books and bible stories. There are hugs and shrugs after spills and super creative lunches and snacks. Sometimes I even keep up on the dishes, keep the house picked up, and reorganize something. Some days I even wear JEANS and a cute SHIRT, mascara and some blush. 

My kiddos won't remember what I wore, but they'll remember the sweet mama smell that comforts them when they bury their snotty faces in to my chest. They won't remember if the house was a mess, but they'll remember that our house was sunny and warm. They won't remember what we ate, but they'll remember their bellies were always full and happy. They won't remember the nights I yelled too much at bedtime. They will remember the songs I sang and the little prayers we prayed every night. Most of all, they'll remember their mama was there, present, doing the best she could. 

Eli at least got a few chances to go out this winter.

The diva and her boys

best workout ever, pulling three kids in a sled.
Gabriel insisted riding his motorcycle.

When stamping paper gets boring, stamping skin is always fun.

Hang in there mama.

Stay-at-home-moms (and dads!), 

working moms (daddies too), 

all moms (and dads). 

This is a hard job we have. A huge responsibility. Thank God our kids are going to be fine as long as we are doing our best, asking for forgiveness when we fall short, and loving on them as much as possible. 

Hope you all had a great weekend.

Sierra

Just in time for Valentine's Day

This weekend we attended our second marriage conference of the month. I'm about to get real REAL with you here. I'm all about being transparent, and that means bearing my heart and soul about the real ups and downs in my life. Marriage is a huge part of my life. It's part of what truly defines me.

Fifteen years ago, as a silly love-sick 15 year-old, I knew in my heart that I was going to marry Matt... it went a little something like this.... Leah and Becky were two of my best friends: they went to my church, we were in youth group together, we spent hours and hours together. They had a hot brother. He chaperoned a youth camping trip, and that weekend I swore to his sisters (cross my heart hope to die) that we would be sisters-in-law one day.

Long long LOOOONG story short, I got my dream man. Well, he wasn't my big dark Native American dream man, but he was next best even better. He loved Jesus, he loved me, and I thought it would be butterflies and flowery fields happily-ever-after from there.

Oh boy, was I wrong.

Our first four years were pretty rough. I look back and can't believe we made it through. Our testimony is a lengthy yet important story to tell. Someday maybe I'll type it out, or maybe someday I'll get the honor of sharing it with you, but for now, I'll leave it at that. God is good, his grace is sufficient, and he never allowed us to encounter anything greater than what we were capable of dealing with. 

Year five and six were marital bliss. Year seven until now have been...well, exhausting, wonderful, chaotic and quite beautiful. We had three boys somewhere there in the last six years. And somewhere in the last 2 and a half years, our marriage went from highest priority (after God of course) to being somewhere on the list under kids, financial stress, house, work, etc. etc. Why is it so easy to put so much before your relationship with your spouse? I'll tell you why. Because maintaining a marriage is hard work. 

Making your husband happy? Hard work. 

Meeting the needs of a grown man? Hard work.

Explaining your feelings to an equally exhausted partner? Hard work.

Making a two-year-old happy? Water colors, a paint brush, paper and a little jar of water. Easy. 

Meeting the needs of a one-year-old? Goldfish crackers. Kiss, nap. Easy. 

Explaining your feelings to a five-year-old? "I'm the boss, that's why." Easy.

We learned so much last weekend and this weekend. The most rewarding thing, was hearing my husband say that he is excited to take what we have learned and apply it to our marriage and our family life.

This stuff is applicable whether you're the Jesus following type or not. Bear with me here. Keep an open mind. What I'm about to share with you may really challenge you, and encourage you to make this marriage thing actually be enjoyable!

Here are some of the notes I came home with. I know these do not apply to everyone, but it's what Matt and I came away with that we plan to study and focus on in our relationship. I call this:

sUper ImpORTant MarrAiGe StUff

notes by Sierra Lorraine Hegstrom

Women, we need to show appreciation for our husbands, and not expect anything in return. We need to give them thanks for all that they do for us. We need to honor them, respect their willingness and to value their opinions. We need to encourage them, support their dreams, and release them to be all that they are called to be. We need to be submissive WHICH MEANS that we come under them to life them up and support them. We need to be passionate for them, and to respond to their needs. 

Men, you need to be gentle with us, and we need to feel treasured  We need you to be emotionally transparent. We need you to communicate with words. Conflict is an opportunity for closeness. We need to be nurtured. You will reap what you sew in to us. We need to feel secure in your love, we need to feel that you are committed fully to us.

The Covenant that we made on our marriage day should reflect what God's intentions are for marriage. It's more than a promise. It's unconditional, selfless commitment to seek the well-being of the other person.

Communication is not just what you say, it's how you say it. It's about hearing and being heard.

On conflict resolution: Keep short accounts and offer forgiveness. Don't forgive too quickly, make sure you are in a place of true forgiveness so that you are not quick to be offended over it again. Take responsibility for your words and actions. Be repentant. Brainstorm together to find a solution.

Sex: Emotionally connects us. Reaffirms our identity. Brings unity. Never should be used as a weapon.

We need to return to our first love. (Revelations 2:4-5)

Marriage should be a place of rest and refuge. (Hebrews 4:9-11) 

"You should work hard on your marriage, but marriage should not be hard work"

Release. Figure out what patterns of attitudes and behaviors need to be broken in your life and relationship. (Isaiah 10:27)

Restoration. Isaiah 61:4-7. Figure out what needs to be rebuilt/restored/renewed/reinvested in our life.

[I loved this last point.]

Rejoice. Proverbs 5: 18 and 19 says May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.

¹⁹

One more thing I wanted to share, was 10 guidelines that were given to us to encourage a happy marriage by Mildred Tengbom. So take note:

1. Be reasonable and realistic in your expectations of marraige and your mate.

2. Accept your mate as a person rather than assigning stereotypes, characteristics and roles.

3. Husbands and Wives need to be good forgivers.

4. Happy marriages require time and effort.

5. As you talk, make a conscious effort to understand each other.

6. After you begin to understand what is important to your mate, try to find ways of helping them.

7. Have a happy sex life.

8. Recognize that adverse situations sometimes have caused problems and stop blaming each other or yourself.

9. Find substitute extended families who can help and encourage you.

10. Set family goals.

As the retreat came to a close, we were instructed to pray with the other couples at our tables and then prayer was offered by the pastors and facilitators of the retreat. Well five minutes before we left, Matt hurt my feelings. We drove all the way home with out talking. I thought "REALLY?! THIS WONDERFUL WEEKEND, AND NOE WE ARE ALREADY FIGHTING???!!!" I was so upset. We got home, thanked mom and Brian for watching the kiddos, and then we remained silent. I told him I was still hurt. Before, we would've just stayed mad,  and let it blow over (or under the rug only to come bursting out again soon), but instead we talked it through. We com-mun-icated.... whoa! We both explained how we felt, how we interpreted what had happened. We processed. We were silent. Then Matt apologized, we hugged, and we moved forward. Whoa. Easy. Done. 

Over these past two weekends we have really recommitted our devotion to each other and our marriage. We want to display a healthy and loving relationship in front of our boys. We want to put our marriage before kids and everything else. If our foundation is healthy and strong, we can get through anything. I'm looking forward to doing this right. 

I want to encourage you to reflect on what you can do to enjoy marriage to it's fullest. What is your motivation? Why is this important? Do you believe marriage should come first before kids and every thing else? 

Trying to be a loving doe and graceful deer,

Sierra :)