the case for quiet.

I. am. so. tired. of. all. the. LOUD.

It has been a freakishly long and cold winter here in Minnesota. And we are only half way through February. Last year we were still getting snow in May.

I'm trying to remain calm. I am trying to be positive. But this has been rough.

Gabriel will be four in April. He has had a rough last couple of years. A week before he turned two it began. His "terrible twos" hit hard and have not loosened up since. He is a whole lot of emotions and tears and passion and strong will wrapped up in to one little fragile body. He's so sensitive. There are days that I don't feel that I can handle one more minute of the constant whining, crying, and his daily "I HATE YOU"s. He is easy to love but so hard to handle sometimes.

So I yell. And I hate it. I try to keep my cool. I try to speak gently and quietly. But I can't it's hard. Oh so hard. And I justify it by feeling like it's better to be harsh with my tone than with my hands... 'cause OH MY GOSH I want to get harsh with my hands. And sometimes I do. I hate admitting it.

It's just that I  want a few moments of quiet. And for some strange reason my hollering at the kids for a little bit of quiet doesn't work....

My days are filled with (quiet) swears + prayers.

God gets it. He understands. And he loves me even when I am weary and tired.

Swears when my smoothie spills all over and the kids walked through the house with sloppy snowy boots. Swears when there is red lipstick on the couch pillows and the carpet because Eli gets in to my red lipstick again.

Prayers when I am grateful that Gabriel didn't totally wipe out when he missed the last step, and when I'm thankful that he fell asleep on the couch while watching Curious George. Prayers when I feel like I am about to lose it over spilled milk. Prayers that spring comes quick and that Matt gets home soon.

Being a mom means that sometimes most of the time our happiness or need for quiet doesn't matter. We just gotta stick it through. And we can't holler and yell just because we aren't getting our way. When we are in the thick of raising the littles, we gotta remain loving, selfless, and  intentional about how we speak to them. Ouch. I have so much room for improvement in this area. 

I read a few interesting articles today and yesterday. I got some good stuff out of each. Here they are in case you are interested:

I Think I Know Why You're Yelling

My children are people

So whether you were home with kids too, or driving on the icky snow today, hope you are surviving this Presidents day, and that you are finding hope and light in the midst of it all.

His mercies are new every morning.

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