...how things were supposed to be

A friend of mine posted this today on Facebook and it struck me.

I don't really agree that our perfect pictures are what screw us up the most. But. They can screw us up pretty bad.

I was talking to a new friend last night about a season I was in a few years ago. 

Home.

With toddlers and a brand new baby.

All I did was nurse. Peel wrappers off of string cheese. Fill sippy cups. Change diapers. Cut crusts off sandwiches. Wash dishes. All while husband was getting to go out and work, have a ministry life, having contact with adults and getting to leave the house everyday.

There were many days that I was mad (or maybe just jealous?) That wasn’t what I had signed up for. When we got married I was in school to fulfill my dream of being a marriage and family therapist. I wanted to change lives and help people. I was going to pick my babes up from daycare and bring home a paycheck. I didn't have plans to be a stay-at-home-mom. I had done my time as a nanny. I did my time raising kids as big sister in a big family and then for a year as a volunteer in Mexico mothering 14 little girls. I couldn't wait to be a working mama.

So I was pissed. 'Cause this was not how it was supposed to be.

And a couple years before that... marriage. Mine was not how marriage was supposed to be. I had a husband that suffered severely from depression, anxiety and years of heavy baggage. He found every way possible to escape the hardships of our marriage. Video games, internet... etc. etc. 

We were a mess. We almost called it quits. This was not how it was supposed to be.

I feel like so many things in life 

disappoint us because they contradict the ideas and expectations that we still hold from childhood: pictures of what our lives were supposed to look like when we grew up. 

Luckily, it is deeply embedded in my utmost being that I am a long suffering and merciful fighter. 

So I persevered - got through those early years of being lonely, at home, and stuck 25 minutes outside of the city. But now? My world has opened up and it is expanding as my children get older and my husband continues to encourage my personal growth and new opportunities. I'm doing things now that I never would have imagined I'd be doing. 

I fought hard for my marriage and for my husband. Thank God I did. Our marriage is so strong now. And we have three amazing kids that would never have entered into the world had we not worked through the messiness and muck of hard marital circumstances. 

So. Bottom line (if you are asking me) ?

Get rid of the pictures in your head of how things were supposed to be. 

Work with what you got. 

So. Just wanted to share what was on my mind today. What are your thoughts?