quiet times

This last weekend with our house church we discussed how we manage our quiet times with God. What do I mean when I refer to quiet time? It's the alone time that you spend with God. What does it look like? Sometimes it's meditation and or prayer. Sometimes it's reading the bible. Sometimes it's listening to music. Sometimes it's just listening. Sometimes it's processing. Sometimes it's a walk through the fall leaves as you soak in nature and all it's splendor.

The times that I do get to read, pray, listen, and write (all at the same time!) are rare but so fulfilling. 

During our discussion it was comforting to hear how we all struggle to fit that time in. One guy said you need to be forcing yourself to wake early or stay up late if time is scarce. That there are no excuses. One mom talked about how difficult it would be to wake early, especially when babies are up in the night sick or  needing to nurse. Another guy talked about how waking at 5:30 for work was the earliest he could do, that he felt he wasn't able to wake any earlier.

So if our days are packed with work and child rearing and extra curricular activities and book clubs and kid's soccer practice and cleaning the house and walking the dog and being stuck in rush hour, how do we squeeze in that time?

For me, my faith is all about my personal and very real relationship with Jesus.

In any kind of close relationship that I have, I want that person to know that I love them and care about them a lot. I want to spend time with them and pour in to them. I would do anything for that person, go out of my way for them and be there for them in a heart-beat.

Most mornings when I get up, I am pretty much worthless. I have hit the snooze button 3 times and then I have to jump out of bed and scoop my 1st grader up and out of his toasty warm bed while singing our morning song so that he doesn't immediately start screaming at me. My intention for the year was gong to be waking him earlier and having a little quiet time with him on the porch before we ventured out to the bus stop. Yeah... we were able to do that maybe two mornings the first week of school, and then sleeping 20 extra minutes became more important. Bummer. At least we get prayer and (sometimes) devotions in at night.

I am trying to figure out where I can make time for my quiet times with God. Just like I need to make time to spend quality time with my husband, and my boys, my mom and my friends, I need to make time to get quality time with God.

I felt guilty as our conversation at house church made me really think about my lack of quality time with God. I felt bad that I don't get up the first time my alarm goes off. I felt bad that I stay up late on pintrest but not in prayer.

Guilt isn't from God though. He has no intentions for us to suffer from guilt. But conviction is from the Lord: that feeling in your gut that challenges you to make a change.

I'm looking at this all and I am looking at it from the same perception that I see my marriage.

In the early morning is not when I would be able to turn to Matt and say "hey babe, let's talk about my day and my love for you and my worries and my thoughts and my heart posture towards so-and-so and yadda yadda yadda..." I would be too tired, I wouldn't want to listen to him about his thoughts either; my brain would not be functioning. But when I do wake up when his alarm goes off, I tell him I love him and to have a great day, and then I roll over and fall back asleep.

In the same way I think I can manage to wake up, greet God, tell him I love him and invite him to be near me through out the day.

Later on in the morning I usually get a sweet text from Matt or send Matt a text telling him I love him. Later on in the afternoon or around lunch if something difficult or funny or significant has happened, we usually call each other and give updates.

In the same way through out my day I do pray. I do talk to God. I thank him when something is sweet and joyful. I talk to him when something is bothering me, or when I am hurting.

In the evenings after the kids go to sleep or right before we turn out our light, Matt and I get some time to just be together. Sometimes we watch a movie or even go on a date! We try to get quality time together each day, but it doesn't always happen, and it never looks the same.

In the same way, I need to be getting intentional time with God. Where I am not distracted, and I get to focus. This doesn't happen for me every day. Or sometimes it happens when I am in the car and all the kids have fallen asleep and I have 15 minutes of uninterrupted peace. Or sometimes it happens during nap time as I am washing dishes and listening to my favorite music.

I know God loves me and understands my life. I know he enjoys the time I get to have with him. I know that he forgives me when I spend my time poorly some days. I know that he yearns to be near me and he waits for me to ask him to be a part of my day. I know that he wants to strengthen me to get through my hardest days, and I know he is generous with the peace he pours over me when I ask for it. His comfort is abundant. His understanding and love never end.

And yet it is still hard to find the time.

I'm just processing here.

I have some work to do in this area.

Do you have quiet times? What do they look like? Does it happen often enough or is this a challenge you would like to take on too?

This afternoon I am going to the funeral of my dear friend's little 22 month old Zachary Michael Cooper. He died in his sleep Thursday afternoon and my heart has been aching for the last few days. Please be in prayer for the Cooper family.

Hope you all are having a lovely Tuesday. It is rainy and dreary here in good ol' Minnesota.
The day of my dad's funeral was similar. Sometimes I feel like it's God's way of showing us that he is grieving right along side us, that he aches for our loss and weeps with us too.