Healthy family Trait Monday: table time and conversation

The most dreadful thought of the day sometimes is "What's for dinner?" Matt HATES when I ask him "babe? What should we do for dinner?" I ask him that a lot. My daddy was a chef. A good chef. I inherited none of those genes. Any and all cooking that I do is self taught, or researched from pintrest. It does not come naturally. 

Honestly, dinner time in our house is usually more dreadful than pleasant. 

It starts off well. Simple recipe from pintrest. Mom's making a good healthy dinner.
Cue the "DANG I'm a good mama!!" vibe.

It usually turns out well. I place it all pretty on the plate to
accentuate my work of art. Dad would be proud of my presentation.

Kids ask for gobs of ranch. Hey, whatever makes them eat it, right?

Then the first goofy sip is taken, and I know it's all
gonna hit the fan soon.

This is not going to be good.

Cue the gurgling of milk.
Cue mom and dad starting to get irritated.

Cue the toddler who can climb out of his highchair
and who now will spend the next ten minutes whining at mom's side until
she gives in and allows him to just eat fish crackers and apple sauce.

 Wait, what's this week's trait? Oh great...

5. The healthy family values table time and conversation.

Okay, so this is an area that we need work. A. Lot. Of work. I think it's because we have small children. I hope it gets easier as they get older.

In one of the books that I started reading a while back called Secrets to Happy Families by Bruce Feiler, he talked about how there is really only 10 minutes during dinner time that is productive communication. All the other words spoken at dinner time are about, well, dinner. "Pass the milk, please." or "May I please have more brussel spouts, mother?" As long as your family gets even that 10 minutes of meaningful talk time in each day, your family will be, in general, more happy with each other. 

Well, in this family, I think we get 2.7 minutes of meaningful talk time during meals. Maybe. The other 6-10 minutes that we are able to keep all three kids seated is filled with "eat that! Don't spill! Vegetables are GOOD for you! They help you get HUGE muscles! No you can't have apple sauce. Do you need more ranch? No you can't have cookies for dinner. Sit on your BOTTOM. Grab a towel and wipe it up! Use your napkin... NOT YOUR SHIRT!!!(or NOT MY SHIRT!) Sit down! You may not leave the table until we are all finished. Don't pick your nose. Now go wash your hands... and then come back to the table and eat your brussel sprouts."

Check out this quote from the book:

A recent wave of research shows that children who eat dinner with their families are less likely to drink, smoke, do drugs, get pregnant, commit suicide, and develop eating disorders. Additional research found that children who enjoy family meals have larger vocabularies, better manners, healthier diets, and higher self-esteem. The most comprehensive survey done on this topic, a University of Michigan report that examined how American children spent their time between 1981 and 1997, discovered that the amount of time children spent eating meals at home was the single biggest predictor of better academic achievement and fewer behavioral problems. Mealtime was more influential than time spent in school, studying, attending religious services, or playing sports.

But no pressure...

Dinner time is not my favorite part of the day. Meal times in general are not. When we were on vacation, that was one of the things I loved most: meal times were stress-free, peaceful, full of meaningful conversation and laughter, and kidless quiet. 

I'm just being real. 

Okay, so, that is my challenge this week: I will try to value table time and conversation. It's obviously kind of a big deal right? 

Are you up for the challenge? ]

Me either, but I'll try if you do. Hey, what better night to start than tonight?! Funday Monday. I leave at 5pm for Zumba. So I will gladly pass the challenge on to Matthew tonight;)

Peace out.