The Lord gives and the Lord takes away.

Life is so fragile. On so many levels.

Preethi and her family

It's such a gift... and really an absolute miracle. In the last few months I have had friends get pregnant and another dear friend miscarry. I have various friends struggling with fertility issues, and I have various friends expecting second and third babies. Yesterday my dear friend's first grand baby was born, and the same day my friend Preethi (a mama of three little boys) lost her battle with cancer. I hate how that sounds though, because she didn't lose. She gained what each of us truly desire and yearn for all our lives: face to face presence with the Lord, ultimate peace, perfect health, HEAVEN. 

While Preethi was especially sick in the days before her death, I had a hard time knowing how to pray. I was fervently praying for healing, for her boys to be able to keep their mama and for her husband not to lose his amazing wife. I was asking for a miracle, all of us were. But in the back of my mind I remembered praying like this in the days leading to my dad's death. And in the days leading to my dear friend Heidi's dad's death. And in the days leading to my friend Laura's mom's death. So I felt my self asking God is it really worth it? You already know the outcome... and based on the last two years, it's never the way we want it..." Is that lack of faith? I don't know. 

Then I remembered a year ago as we prayed for a miracle over Hannah's sister's baby. We prayed that this baby (who had Potter's Syndrome I believe it's called) would grow kidneys. And a circulatory system. And guess what... God did it. After numerous tests and specialists looking her case over, her baby Jaden was the first EVER recorded case of a Potter Syndrome baby surviving. He'll be one this fall. 

God knows what he is doing. He loves that we ask him for the impossible. He loves that we have faith in him to do the unimaginable. He is there for us when we are disappointed in the outcome, and he is there for us when we are rejoicing over the outcome.

Tomorrow is my second father's day without my dad. I was at Target yesterday and saw everyone huddled around the father's day cards. I started to walk over thinking "oh I should grab one for daaa.... oh yeah." 

I had a dream about dad this week that was really emotional. I was sitting next to him at a table and my head was resting on his shoulder, like I was a little girl just sitting with my daddy. (He was fragile and weak though, as if he was ill. I think I dreamed of him like this since Preethi was so ill and she was on my mind.) I was weeping, since I knew it was a dream, and I knew it was going to be over soon, and he said "tell Sam I miss him and that I love him. And tell  Grace and David and Gil too. And tell mom.... it's okay." I held on to the words he spoke knowing it was a dream, but also feeling like I knew I had to remember as if it was a real message from dad to the rest of the family. I miss him a lot.

It gives me great joy and comfort though, to know that dad is in heaven right now with Jesus. And Preethi. And my friend's little baby. 

I'm so thankful for God's grace over the past two years. Please pray for Preethi's family as they have a tough road ahead of them. 

So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold -- though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. 1 Peter 1:6 - 7